BAH, DRUM-BUG – The Response

I’m a sucker for Christmas music.  I really am.  My wife and I start pumping Christmas tunes at our place as soon as November hits.  We are unabashedly “those people.”   There are certainly some songs we prefer above others, and for a variety of reasons, but mostly we just “love this Christmassy time of year,” to quote Burl Ives.  And while Wham’s “Last Christmas” is among my personal holiday favorites, I have a tendency to gravitate more towards the religious classics during the Christmas season.

So, it was with a cheery heart that last week I pulled up an online radio station entitled “Religious Christmas Classics,” fully expecting to hear some of my old favorites.  Much to my dismay, however, my ears and spirit were immediately assailed with a Pa-Rum-Pum-Pum-Pumming that took me completely by surprise!  ‘Could it be?  Did I click on the wrong station by mistake?’ After a quick double-check my fear was realized—the Religious Christmas Classics station had put “The Little Drummer Boy” at the top of its rotation!

Now, to be forthright, I’ve never been a big fan of “The Little Drummer Boy.”  In fact, I’ve never even been a small fan.  But something about having it pop up on a Religious Christmas Classics radio station this year really chapped my buttocks, and here’s why:

For a song to be considered a “Religious Christmas Classic,” in my mind, certain implied characteristics must be evidenced.  Chief among these characteristics is a portrayal of the nativity story as documented in the New Testament.  As my friend MJ pointed out in his watery, sentimental appeal, “The Little Drummer Boy” badly misses the mark on this key ingredient by interjecting a presumably fictional character into the nativity story.  Ever wonder why “The Little Drummer Boy” isn’t found in Christian hymnals?  Ever wonder why it’s not sung at Christmas Eve services?  The proof is in the (figgy) pudding—because the song doesn’t belong there.

As an aside, I asked several local Christian pastors about whether or not their churches would be celebrating Christ’s birth by singing “The Little Drummer Boy” at any of their Christmas services this year, and the answer was a resounding and unanimous no.

To be clear, I’m not trying to diminish any metaphorical application “The Little Drummer Boy” might present.  What I am claiming is that these types of loose applications are slippery slopes (to use my own metaphor), and aren’t proper qualifiers for determining whether or not a song should be considered a “Religious Christmas Classic.”  If they were, then we’d certainly have sufficient grounds to put some other well-known Christmas songs on this list.

Take “Frosty the Snowman,” for example.  He was birthed around Christmas, gathered disciples, broke societal norms/rules, then left unexpectedly after promising to return again someday.  Perhaps this is an allegorical reference to Christ and His second coming?  Maybe we should consider “Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer” for the religious playlist?  After all, the song clearly demonstrates that even the outcasts and downtrodden can be used for great purposes, that the weak can lead the strong, and that judgment based on outward appearances is foolish.  Aren’t these all biblical messages?  Isn’t there some similarity to be found when comparing Rudolph as an unexpected Christmas savior and a baby born in a manger as humanity’s unexpected Savior?

To go a step further, perhaps instead of reading the Bible’s account of Christ’s birth we should reference Tolkien’s “The Lord of the Rings” trilogy, given that it contains some allegorical parallels to the Gospel.  Or, if we really wanted to get creative, couldn’t we just plug C.S. Lewis’ famous lion, Aslan, into the manger scene along with the other animals?  Perhaps he was among those that “kept time” for the drummer?

The point is, that like many Christmas songs, “The Little Drummer Boy” has a message and it has its place.  Clearly, that place is alongside songs by Wham or other fairy tales about Frosty or Rudolph, not on a “Religious Christmas Classics” radio station.

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